You always see articles, pins, quotes, shows about saving a relationship, saying things like “communication tools to save your relationship,” “saving your second marriage before it starts.”
For someone who has been in an unhealthy relationship or is in a new relationship that they want to make long term the constant bombardment of these images and messages can be very intimidating.
They make you feel like you have to fix your relationship and you need to tell each other every thought and worry and communicate about everything from the very beginning. It makes you forget to let yourself be in love, let your relationships build, fluctuate and grow.
Three months into a relationship you should not have to feel worried about fixing it. It hasn’t even had enough time to break yet, get stagnant or boring yet. This constant message that we need to fix something we haven’t even finished building yet can be exhausting and put strain on an otherwise happy and cohesive relationship.
Why do we put this type of pressure on all relationships? Should we not put more emphasis on building a healthy relationship and allowing ourselves to be in the moment feeling what we are feeling instead of worrying about fixing a future that hasn’t even had the chance to happen yet? This is what breeds anxiety and strain and exacerbates aspects of negative relationships in the first place.
I am learning to practice being mindful within my relationship. Therefore, I have made promises to myself as to how I will proceed in my relationships going forward.
I challenge you to make these promises with me…………………
I promise…..to not worry about the future of our relationship instead of living in our present relationship.
I promise…..to melt away the walls you have up with my love and compassion, instead of trying to knock them down with a battering ram in an effort to make you communicate.
I promise…..to not take everything so seriously, let a joke be a joke, let teasing be teasing, and not read so far into everything as if I need to fight or fly.
I promise…..to not try and fix all of your problems instead of focusing on mine.
I promise…..to communicate any issues and then let it go.
I promise……to be more assertive and not let other parts of my life impact our relationship.
I challenge each and every one of you to let love happen. I challenge you to live in today not in the future and not in your past. Allow your relationship to happen as it is meant to, fix problems as they arise but don’t create problems before they appear.
Be open to love as it comes even if it looks different than what you see on TV or read in books or had in your past relationships. Love comes in many forms. Don’t feel the need to throw it away because the outside isn’t pretty. The fruit is just as sweet.
For each of you who made these promises or promises of your own, leave a comment below sharing your promises to yourself and your partner.
Please use the hashtag, #letlovehappen on your social media accounts to document your journey towards keeping these promises and watching your relationship blossom.